2011 has been a tumultuous year for me work wise and I’d like to share the story of one of the most gut wrenching scary decisions I’ve made in my life. Quitting a job without another to go to.
The Job I Left
First off I loved this job. The pay was reasonable, the perks were good, my co-workers were competent and the work I was doing was something I believed in. So why oh why did I leave it?
A combination of factors but more or less it came down to bad management, poor work environment and most importantly the job wasn’t going anywhere. Same old grind each and every day.
Bad Management
I was working in a very large organisation which by their very nature tends to be management top heavy and rife with inter-office bickering and politics. This entity was no different. The group I worked in had been happily ticking over for a decade or so when an event occurred that resulted in us losing more than half our staff, most of them the more skilled to another competing entity.
As you’d expect this was a bit of a body blow to the group, to lose that much staff in such a short period of time and still be expected to produce the same amount of work was a huge source of stress for all involved. Unfortunately one of the people that moved on was our team lead and a replacement had to be found.
This is where it went bad. Management placed a senior into the team lead position. A technically quite competent person but it became clear quite quickly they were lacking the team leader skills needed for the position. Work schedules weren’t provided in a timely manner, they wouldn’t enter into discussions on how to approach issues, people were shouted down and demeaned if they dared disagreed. In short the workplace turned sour.
Complaints were made to upper management, meetings were had but it was clear they had no intention of fixing these issues anytime soon. The stress in the work place became palpable and simply the act of getting up to go to work was enough to raise blood pressure through the roof.
The Work Environment
To add to this fun little crockpot of stress the powers that be decided this was the perfect time to renovate the building we worked in. It’s an older building, initially scheduled for demolition in a few years time but due to budget issues it was to be renovated and used for ‘the medium term”.
The building was already in a state of disrepair and so renovation meant work and lots of it. Asbestos had to be removed, the buildings staircases had to be retrofitted to bring them into line with the states fire codes, the roof had to be removed and redone (which they did during the wet season against all logic).
All of this work was done during work hours and involved hammer drilling, concrete cutting and other activities which generated a lot of noise and vibration through the entirety of the building. There was gluing and painting happening on a regular basis filling the building with dizzying fumes.
There were frequent issues with power and air conditioning failing. In one memorable incident a construction worker cut through a live electrical line with a power saw. Fortunately he was unharmed but it was a close run thing.
It became impossible to concentrate. Staff were told to basically suck it up and deal with it. It went on for months, indeed it’s still going on now months after I have left. I pity my former co-workers who still have to work under those conditions.
The Final Straw
I was stuck in a bind. I loved the work I was doing but the bad management and poor work environment were making me hate my job. What finally made my walk away however was the unending grind of no change.
I am not a person who is happy to sit down and do the same task each day forever. I know people who are and more power to them if that’s what they want to do. Because we had lost so much staff management seemed to get stuck in a panic loop. Decisions on moving forward weren’t being made, we’d constantly be told that a new way forward was coming but it never did.
Wheels were spinning but no progress was being made and managements approach was to keep us in the dark. Hint to managers: Technical staff like answers even if the answers are bad ones. Keeping us guessing is not a smart move. If you don’t know the answer just tell us that.
That’s when the stress really started to get to me. No matter how much I loved my job or how good the pay was it wasn’t worth the stress. I started having troubles sleeping, I was overly snappy to my co-workers and others in my life. Eventually I ran out of excuses to stay in the job. No amount of pay, perks or of love for my work was worth this trade off.
The Jump
I agonised over quitting for months. I’ve never before quit a job without another to go to before. Because I did like the work I did I felt morally bad about looking for another job and as such didn’t put the effort into it I really should have. A mistake in hindsight.
The decision to jump wasn’t made easily. Having an uncertain future troubled me deeply and had me constantly questioning everything. I discussed quitting with my girlfriend and talked about the worst case scenario if I didn’t have an income for a while. Could we pay the rent and living costs on just her salary? What would we have to give up?
My girlfriend and friends were very supportive despite the potentially risky move. After a particularly bad nights sleep I woke up and made a decision. It was time to go. I wanted to be as nice as possible to my workplace so I provided six weeks notice in the (rather vain) hope they would hire a replacement I could help train to take over. Alas this never happened and eventually my last day rolled around it was time to go.
The Double Edged Sword Of Freedom
So here I was. Unemployed but free of a job that was killing me through stress. First thing we did was attend a friends wedding which worked wonderfully as a stress breaker. Took my mind off the cloudy future and let me genuinely enjoy life for the first time in months. Then it was time to go back to the real world.
It took me four months to find a new job. I learnt a lot about myself and the world in those four months. I was forced through necessity to look at the world in a new way and change things appropriately. I had saved money up and my final payout was quite reasonable but as I had no idea how long my unemployed situation would last I became quite frugal.
I cancelled services that weren’t all that necessary. I cut back on impulse buying and thought more about whether I actually needed items. I always ensure I could at least pay my part of the rent. My girlfriend picked up a lot of the slack for which I am eternally grateful and fully intend to pay her back for.
I searched for new jobs. I interviewed with recruiters (most of whom seem to be universally useless). One of the biggest issues was job in my industry weren’t in huge numbers in my city, most of them are in Sydney and Melbourne but we really didn’t want to move.
After a few weeks the novelty of being at home and not working wore off and bouts of depression would kick in. Some days I would become immobilised by self doubt. Did I really do the right thing by quitting? Was I ever going to find a job? How bad were things going to get? Guilt kicked in big time and there were days I was reduced to a blubbering mess.
Again my girlfriends and friends supported me through this. Without their help it’s likely I’d still be stuck in the old rutt of a job becoming more stressed probably to the point where I would have said or done something that would have turned into a career limiting move.
The New Job
Thanks to a friend who let me know about an upcoming position and industry contacts I ended up getting a contractor job with an overseas firm. I’ve never worked as a contractor before so this is a new and exciting experience.
Technically the pay is lower but thanks to the four months of unemployment I’ve reduced my expenditures to the point where I have more disposable cash on hand and I’m saving even more money than before. I’ve lost the perks of the old job but gained several new ones.
I now work from home meaning no commute (a great savings on time and money), a comfortable work environment (I splurged on a decent desk, chair and new workstation). My new boss despite being on the other side of the world is firm but fair in how he deals with me.
My stress is greatly reduced, I have my own income again and feel like I’m no longer sponging off my girlfriend, I’m paying for more things than I need to try and restore the balance of the previous unemployed months. In short I feel like a functioning member of society again.
I’ve been working steadily for close to 4 months now and couldn’t be happier. New job gives me responsibilities and appropriate levies of pressure. It gives me new challenges to defeat. It’s not all rainbows and puppies, there is still the usual daily monotonous work to be done but it is sprinkled with changes and obstacles to overcome. Exactly the kind of thing my brain needs to be happy.
The Wrap Up
This year has been terrifying and I couldn’t have done it without the support of my girlfriend, my friends and my family. They had the guts to tell me when I was being stupid, to disagree with my reasons for staying in the old job and to generally provide a good smack if I needed it.
As this year wraps up I feel enormously thankful for these people in my life. I’m glad I made the decision to move on. Enjoying life more has been worth it.